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1. Professor Aldus Quibble

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   Following his expulsion from Zürich in 1921 (the stated reason being an unauthorized attempt to calibrate the Institute for Temporal Fluid Dynamics's seismograph using artisanal marmalade, Quibble turned his attention to the relationship between lithology (the study of rock characteristics) and human habit. He developed the theory of Lithic-Textile Symbiosis, arguing that specific types of rock fundamentally inf…